There's No Sin on this Couch

by Gloria Kaufman (uncredited), from pg. 88 of In Stitches

When Alice Neel (age 76) was artist-in-residence during a summer conference at the University of Notre Dame, she was housed on campus in the rector's rooms. The 35-year-old rector met Alice when he returned to his suite for a book.

"I hope you don't mind if I violate your bed," Alice said playfully. The rector's eyes grew large. Alice smiled. He quickly excused himself and went for the door.

"Wait a minute!" Alice said. She tapped the space on the sofa beside her. "Come sit down here, Sonny," she beckoned. "There's no sin on this couch."

The rector squirmed and mumbled inaudibly. He was not up to Alice's patter, and she, hugely amused, went on: "O, this couch is so nice, it's like lying in bed. Of course, it really isn't the same -- because if I were lying in bed, I wouldn't be talking to you." And then she pointedly added with all her immense seductive charm, "Or would I now?"

The rector rushed out.

In Stitches, 1991
There's No Sin on this Couch